next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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