I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
