dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You are a genius and a whore.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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