I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize