quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
