I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
