I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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