she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
