wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize