That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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