Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
