Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize