I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
