just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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