You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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