you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
