I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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