apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ladies don't puke and tell
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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