his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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