Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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