Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
