Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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