and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
