You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
