So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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