we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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