he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
