I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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