Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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