yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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