My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
