Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
