idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
