Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
