If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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