It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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