just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I need a beard to bite.
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