Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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