My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
