Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
