someone threw a dead crab at me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
