I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
