I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Im part way to drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
