he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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