I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
