i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
