We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
