girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
