You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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