Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
