just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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