A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
