I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize