I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
