Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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