So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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