some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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