Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
