During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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